


Been here all along (so why can't you see?)

by djjdkim



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Best Friends, Drama, Drama & Romance, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Drinking, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, but like only mentions of high school, pretty long and convoluted plot but pls bear with it, side pairing sesoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 07:26:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11846790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djjdkim/pseuds/djjdkim
Summary: Baekhyun can do alot of things for Jongdae. Being The Best Friend is not one of them, not when he wants to be more than that.





	Been here all along (so why can't you see?)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [comebaekhome](https://archiveofourown.org/users/comebaekhome/gifts).



> THANK YOU SO MUCH TO COMEBAEKHOME BUB FOR WRITING ME AN AMAZING BAEKXING (and future fandae?????????????) LIKE I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH YOU'VE BEEN SO GOOD TO ME, SO THIS IS A MESSY LITTLE PRESENT IN RETURN I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!
> 
> Please go read her stuff if you haven't already, it's all veRY CUTE AND FLUFFY AND I LOVE IT LOTS AND I LOVE HER LOTS TOO.

“He _WHAT_?” Baekhyun screeches, jumping on Kyungsoo and snatches Kyungsoo’s perfectly pristine phone from out of his hands.

Kyungsoo only sighs, watching as Baekhyun’s jaw drops at the message.

With an incoherent grumble, Baekhyun carelessly tosses Kyungsoo’s phone back to him, the smaller boy catching it neatly with an indignant squeak. Baekhyun flops down face first onto Jongdae's bed, hoping to inhale some of his scent even if his nose is mushed against the mattress.

He vaguely registers Kyungsoo moving to his own bed with an unsympathetic look towards Baekhyun’s crumpled form.

It seemed like an eternity since Kyungsoo first complained about having to room with Baekhyun and Jongdae, who continued to poke fun at Kyungsoo’s suffering in synchrony. By this point, Kyungsoo has become more than adept at shutting them both up with either his fists or threats-- whatever means necessary.

Baekhyun rolls over, eyes focusing on the bottom of his own bed, which is directly above Jongdae's. Kyungsoo's bunk is in the other corner of the room, but the bottom level is his desk rather than a fourth bed. Directly opposite Baekhyun and Jongdae's shared bunk sits their own desks, with Baekhyun’s table closer to the door than to the bed.

It's not a particularly big and lavish dorm room, and Baekhyun’s reminded of that every morning when he rolls over in bed to reach for the light switch and feels his stomach drop to his feet in fear that he'd roll straight off his own top bunk.

It was a simple stroke of perfect luck, that the three of them, best friends since high school, just happened to get the opportunity to room together. Chanyeol, the last member of their four-man-team, had complained about being singled out but is now perfectly content with his own roommate, a very chill and very nice guy whose name always escapes Baekhyun-- but who cares, he doesn't particularly need to know Chanyeol’s roommate anyway.

“This isn't fair,” Baekhyun only whines, and somehow Kyungsoo still manages to understand him despite his pouty mumbling. “How did even _Jongdae_ get a girlfriend??? Where are all the cute gay guys??”

Kyungsoo snorts at him. “Chanyeol’s gay.”

“Yeah but Chanyeol doesn’t count,” Baekhyun guffaws stupidly, propping his head up to stare into the back of Kyungsoo’s skull. “Can you imagine dating one of us, like dating a best friend, how weird is that?”

Kyungsoo stops his typing on his document. “No, probably because I’m straight,” he says, turning to glance behind his shoulder at Baekhyun, who sniffs and flops down on Jongdae’s pillow again.

It’s not unusual that Baekhyun would snuggle up in Jongdae’s sheets anyway, especially half-way through the day when he’s not bothered to climb all the way up to his own bunk when Jongdae’s fluffy blankets and soft pillows are right there-- Jongdae’s warm body for him to cuddle with is an added bonus.

Baekhyun’s phone starts buzzing in his pocket against the mattress, and he pulls it out, forcing down the small grin that threatens his lips. He makes sure to let his phone ring a few times, as though he’s actually busy doing something rather than just laze in their room.

Eventually, he puts it up to his ear, putting his best Be-Honoured-I’m-Talking-To-You tone on. “What the fuck do you want, nerd?”

“This is how you greet me??” comes Jongdae’s ridiculously sharp voice, cutting straight through the slight muffled sounds in the phone and nearly deafening Baekhyun, but he doesn’t move the phone away from his ear.

“Well _I’m_ not the one who keeps _secrets_ from his _best friend_ ,” Baekhyun spits, eyes narrowing as though Jongdae could see him-- perhaps that’s because from every tone of Jongdae’s whines, from every huff that comes from the other side of the line, Baekhyun could so vividly imagine Jongdae that it doesn’t seem like they’re apart at all.

“What--”

“Stop lying to your best friend, Kim Jong Dae, why the FUCK didn’t you tell me you got yourself a girlfriend??”

There’s a slight moment of hesitation on Jongdae’s end, and perhaps if Baekhyun wasn’t so attentive, he would have easily missed it, because Jongdae usually never misses a single beat with combatting witty remarks.

“I’m not lying to you! Did Kyungsoo tell you??” When Baekhyun only huffs, sounding as offended as he possibly could, Jongdae sighs. “Well since you know now-- I have a date tonight.”

Baekhyun pauses, eyes drifting down to where his index finger is tapping imaginary rhythms into Jongdae’s mattress.

“You’re at home right?” comes Jongdae’s voice again, soft with pleading. “Can you please please please please _pretty please_ help me with what to wear? Pleaseeee? As my bestest best friend?”

Baekhyun grins wide, and takes a moment to shut it down before talking, trying to not let the smile stain his voice. “What props do I get, Mr Kim?”

“All the details from tonight.”

“Hmm,” Baekhyun hums, pretending to think it over. With a loud, exaggerated sigh, he climbs off Jongdae’s bed, walking over to their large, shared wardrobe, and sliding open Jongdae’s section of it. “ _Fine_ , asshole. Now. Who’s this… lucky girl?”

“Ahhhhh I love you Baek!!” There’s Jongdae’s squealing again, leaving Baekhyun’s right ear ringing, but he smiles anyway. “You know Krystal, right? From our performance class?”

The smile drops right off Baekhyun’s face. “Krystal?” he gasps, and even Kyungsoo pauses his report-writing to look over at him. “Jung Krystal??” he slams Jongdae’s wardrobe door shut again. “Shut the fuck up, you’re _NOT_ going on a date with Jung Krystal.”

Jongdae’s laughing nervously, and he could nearly _see_ how he’d be rubbing the back of his neck, and his eyebrows would be slanting backwards in that curious, adorable way. “Yeah, except yes, I am going on a date with Jung Krys--”

“How the _fuck_ did you get Jung Krystal to go on a date with you?? Are you-- are you a wizard? Is this it, what more have you been hidin--”

“Shut up Baek,” and Baekhyun could envision how Jongdae’s high cheekbones would be painted a pretty pink, while his ears would be bright red.

Baekhyun huffs loudly, returning to examine Jongdae’s wardrobe and letting silence settle so that there’s only the slight buzzing of static in their ears. He begins pulling at certain sweaters and jackets, digging through Jongdae’s shirts.

“Wear your tight black jeans,” he mutters eventually. “Then wear your black turtleneck underneath your black and white leather jacket and boots. No hat.”

He could nearly hear Jongdae’s excitement in his words. “Thank you, you’re the best, Baek!!”

“You better tell me every single detail when you get back tonight,” Baekhyun grumbles. “Including, but not limited to, how the fuck you got the prettiest girl on campus to go on a date with you.”

Jongdae laughs, loud and clear, and goddammit it feels exactly like he’s right there in the room with them. “I got you."

 

 

 

Baekhyun’s squinting at his phone in the gloom by the time their dorm room creaks open, and he recognises Jongdae’s head of black hair peek in.

He shifts on his bunk as quietly as he could, even though the metal hinges creak every two seconds, to reach for the lamp.

Jongdae tiptoes into the room, quietly setting his bag down under his own desk and flashing a grateful smile up at Baekhyun when the small lamp flickers on for him. Baekhyun watches as he strips off the expensive leather jacket he made him wear, then his turtleneck.

Baekhyun continues to watch as Jongdae wanders across the room to their closet shirtless, slowly sliding the door open to grab a random T-shirt. When Jongdae looks up at Baekhyun as he stretches to pull the shirt over his head, Baekhyun cranes his neck down immediately, pretending to check on Kyungsoo, even though this sneaking around happens nearly everyday.

Kyungsoo, the most introverted of the group, goes straight back to the dorm after his afternoon classes and tend to stay there. So it’s usually either Baekhyun or Jongdae or both who need to quietly sneak back into the room so they don’t wake Kyungsoo-- partly because they’re wonderful friends and amazing roommates, but also because they don’t fancy catching Kyungsoo’s fists.

So everytime Baekhyun goes out clubbing and comes back in the dead of the night, or they both go out to eat with their friends, Baekhyun would switch off the small lamp from his upper bunk after getting in bed, then the room would be lit by their phones as they text each other into the early hours into the morning.

For Kyungsoo’s beauty sleep, the no-talking policy was determined early on and even though they are literally in the same room at the same time, they take to texting, and that’s exactly what Baekhyun does.

Jongdae’s sitting on his bed, tugging off his tight jeans, when he notices his phone light up with a text. He pauses what he’s doing, leaning over and immediately grinning up at Baekhyun above him.

_‘How did it go?’_

Jongdae hurriedly tugs his jeans the rest of the way off, piling them at the foot of his bed. Baekhyun knows that Kyungsoo would have a go at him in the morning for it, but Jongdae’s fingers are eagerly flying over his keyboard, and already climbing into his sheets.

_'It was good! She’s super witty and you know I like a girl who can keep conversation’_

The moment Baekhyun figured that Jongdae’s fully settled in bed, he slowly reaches over so the hinges don’t creak much, and quickly switches the lamp off again, settling into his blankets with a small smile tugging at his lips.

_‘Did she roast you’_

_‘LOL of course she did… it was all in good fun though. She’s funny, and I think I managed to impress her, if I say so myself.’_

_‘Of course you did, I picked your outfit afterall.’_

_‘Fine, Mr Top Of The World, Jesus.’_ Baekhyun sniggers silently into his pillow. _‘Though I should thank you for that, she told me I looked good TT’_

Baekhyun’s smile fades into something soft. _‘Tell me,’_ he types. _‘How the hell did you get Goddess Jung Krystal to agree to a date?’_

_‘Because I’m an amazing musician and no one can ever say no to this voice of mine.’_

Baekhyun pauses, contemplating. _‘I see no fault in that.’_

_‘LOL no, just kidding, literally I just asked her out. Like ‘Hey Krystal, I really really like you, and it would be amazing if we could chat over coffee or dinner sometime’.’_

_‘Yeah right, as if you’re that smooth.’_

_‘WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE ME??’_

_‘And you made her your girlfriend just like THAT?’_

_‘Hehehe, I asked her at the end of the night, and she actually said yes! I’d have thought it’d take at least 2 more dates to convince her…’_

_‘Same.’_ Baekhyun sends off the text before pausing, abusing his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes staring at the ‘seen’ under the text bubble. _‘So. Did you do that gross ass thing where you walked her back to her dorm and kissed her goodnight???’_ he types slowly, insistently chewing on his lip as he presses send.

The few moments it takes for Jongdae to respond has Baekhyun’s heart thudding at the tips of his fingers, sounding all too loud in the silence of the room.

_‘YESSS I KISSED HER!!’_

Baekhyun purses his lips, risking a glance under him at Jongdae in the bunk below, and just managing to see the boy’s wide smile that crinkles his eyes just the way Baekhyun likes it.

_‘SHE WAS SUCH A GOOD KISSER! It wasn’t much, but she pretty much challenged me to kiss her, so I did… I swear to God it was so so good. She looked pretty pleased’_

Baekhyun swallows, reading through the messages again and again, at a loss for what to say.

 _‘Awww, gross,’_ is the only thing he manages to pull out of his lame ass. _‘I have to meetup with my group for the composition project tomorrow morning, gotta go to sleep.’_

_‘Good night Baek!’_

Baekhyun leans down over the edge of his own bed, as he does every night, and Jongdae looks up. His face is illuminated with soft blue on his cheekbones as well as glittering in his eyes from the light of his phone, making his sharp features even more striking. Baekhyun gives him a small smile in return, waving a little before lying back down in his own bed.

_‘Good night Dae.’_

 

 

 

Baekhyun should never have agreed-- Jongdae’s side of the deal, involving spilling all the details about their date, never seems to end.

Jongdae’s telling him about Krystal buying him a new sweater, about Krystal wearing the necklace he bought her, about Krystal bringing him coffee while he was in the practice room. Eating with Krystal, kissing Krystal, hell, even sleeping with Krystal-- it leaves Baekhyun wondering whether it’s a good thing that Jongdae is only telling him these things.

“Has Jongdae not told you about taking Krystal out for dinner and being broke after it?”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “I don’t think so, no, though I don’t particularly care?”

Baekhyun frowns. “What about making out with her when her roommate walked in?”

“No?”

“Why the fuck is he just telling me these things?” Baekhyun had huffed in exasperation, turning to Kyungsoo in his confusion, who just shrugs at him. “Fuck, I don’t want to know that Krystal’s a good kisser! I don’t want to know about how pretty she was when she wore a yellow dress!”

Kyungsoo simply watches as Baekhyun sandwiches his face between two textbooks.

Power couple, Kim Jongdae and Jung Soojung.

A mere few days into their relationship and all the music students seem to have heard the gossip about the hot new couple. While not quite in the same degree, Jongdae majoring in vocal performance and Baekhyun and Krystal both in performing arts, it means he shares an awful lot of classes with both of them.

That means hand-holding down the corridors, that means Jongdae softly kissing Krystal’s forehead or stroking her long, blonde hair whenever they part ways after class. It means listening to the whispers of rumours about how lucky Jongdae is all around them in class, and it means trailing after the two of them on Baekhyun’s way to class, eyes on how Jongdae’s got his arm wrapped securely around Krystal’s shoulder, leaning in to nuzzle into her hair.

It means avoiding Jongdae.

By the time Baekhyun would get home from drinking the night away at house parties and making out with strangers that taste like cheap booze, Jongdae would have fallen asleep already. Baekhyun has lost count of how many times he’s bumped his limbs against the metal frame of their bunk from trying to climb into bed in the dark and cursed under his breath, bruises dotting his elbows and shins. He would glance longingly at how Jongdae would have fallen asleep holding his phone right next to his pillow, and try to count how many days it’s been since they last had their little conversations since Jongdae texted him about the first date.

Even if Jongdae wakes up after Baekhyun gets back, he’d hurriedly pull the covers over himself and pretend to fall right asleep even though he lies awake for much longer, listening to Jongdae’s soft snores from beneath him.

Baekhyun strides along the corridors, frowning upon feeling the vibration of his phone against the curve of his ass, reaching into his pockets and spinning it around.

A wide grin instantly stretches his mouth, immediately swiping open the text from Jongdae and stopping in the middle of the corridor.

‘ _Will you be at home this afternoon?’_

With his heart soaring in anticipation-- is this Jongdae finally recognising that he wants to spend some time hanging out?-- Baekhyun’s fingers fumble over each other in his haste.

‘ _Yeah most likely_.’

‘ _Oh_.’ Baekhyun blinks stupidly, before the smile on his face wilts. ‘ _Would it be alright with you if Krystal’s coming over?’_

He stands there rock-still, before a strange wave of frustration washes over him. This isn't fair-- this _isn't_ Jongdae trying to hang out, this is Jongdae being really fucking inconsiderate. There's very little that Baekhyun can do-- and shutting Jongdae down with a rude ‘uh no’ is not any of his options.

Baekhyun breathes out a heavy huff through his nose. He pauses, before letting his fingers slowly hover over the screen.

‘ _Yeah sure. Even if I am going out, you have the keys anyway. Don't mind me.’_

With a soft click, he locks his phone again before pocketing it. Not even two steps later he suddenly stops again, fumbling with unlocking his phone again in his sudden realisation.

‘ _Hey giant_ ,’ Baekhyun fires off. ‘ _Wanna have lunch together?’_

 

(Baekhyun waits until a couple of hours later, after his two practice sessions, to text Jongdae back.

 _‘Just a heads up Dae, I'm going out to eat with Chanyeol_ ,’ he sends, hitching his bag up and making his way to the front of the music building where he knows Chanyeol will be waiting for him. ‘ _I won't be home, so yeah feel free to have Krystal come over.’_

“BAEK!” Baekhyun lets out a loud shriek upon being ambushed by a head of fluffy pink hair, laughing as he wraps his arms around Chanyeol’s tall frame and squeezing. The moment Chanyeol releases him from his bear hug, linking arms with him and chattering on about how he's craving pizza, Baekhyun slips his phone into his bag without checking if Jongdae texted him back.)

 

He thought that since Jongdae's a smart guy, perhaps he'd pick up on the subtle cue. Hell, even Chanyeol gets it.

“I don't understand why he doesn't get that hey, maybe it'd make me uncomfortable to be the third wheel in a _bedroom_ with just the two of them??” Baekhyun had huffed over pizza, and Chanyeol nodded wisely next to him. “No one wants to be a third wheel and just-- Watch as their best friend makes out in your shared dorm room, what part of that doesn't Jongdae get??”

But perhaps Jongdae isn't as smart as Baekhyun penned him to be. Because again, Baekhyun allows himself to be excited.

“Okay, see you at lunch!!” he shoots over his shoulder, grinning at Jongdae sitting on his bed.

He has half a shoe on and is unlocking their door when Jongdae quickly calls out again. Baekhyun looks back, and sees the guy looking down at his phone.

“Wait, is it cool if Krystal comes along? She has a free hour at that time too.”

Jongdae looks up at him, and Baekhyun finds that it's somehow so much harder to shut him down when he's looking at him like this, all round eyes and brows tilted questioningly.

“Yeah,” he chokes out between gritted teeth

He makes a show of looking over at his desk and gasping.

Baekhyun runs over, grabbing a stack of papers that he doesn't really need. “Oh my god,” he murmurs. “How did I forget--” he glances up at Jongdae, who's staring at him in bewilderment. “Looks like I was about that close to getting a fail,” he says, stuffing the papers into his bag. “I totally forgot I had a reflection due in my last class, I gotta print it off-- sorry Dae,” he babbles, stumbling to the front door. “You and Krystal can eat though. I'll eat in the library, don't worry about me!”

Come lunchtime, and Baekhyun’s sitting with his face mushed on the table in the library as he said, with a computer open but not logged in sitting infront of him.

He lazily reaches for his phone, only unlocking it when the notification is Kyungsoo's name and not Jongdae's.

‘ _Krystal is over, they're making out and being gross, save me.’_

‘ _LMAO, rip you_ ’ Baekhyun sends with one hand even though he's not smiling. ‘ _You're at home?’_

‘ _Unfortunately_ ,’ comes Kyungsoo’s response.

‘ _I booked the piano room to practice for later on in the afternoon btw_ ,’ Baekhyun sends, texting fast. ‘ _So I'm not going to be back til late’_

_‘good.’_

Baekhyun blinks in confusion at Kyungsoo’s reply before watching as the next speech bubble pops up.

_‘avoid the lovey dovey cutey poopy shit.’_

 

 

Kyungsoo watches the ‘seen’ pop up below his message before another follows.

_‘I thought you had a class’_

Kyungsoo bites his bottom lip, lying through his teeth. ‘ _No, its cancelled,’_ he sends before swiftly pocketing his phone and legging it out of the lecture theatre. Even throughout his shuffling through the crowd to his next class, he's scrunching his brows and trying not to think of Baekhyun’s reaction if he does happen upon Jongdae and Krystal at home.

Of course, there's no guarantee that they're actually making out-- maybe they're just looking over each other's lyrics, or listening to music, or talking-- and afterall, Kyungsoo's just going off Jongdae's text, asking if its okay if Krystal comes over.

 _Better safe than sorry_ , Kyungsoo thinks, checking his phone one last time for texts before the lights dimmed and the class began.

Baekhyun, on the other hand, with a completely free afternoon, sits with his ass glued to the plastic library chair with an arm propped up and his chin resting on it. He decided to do some research since he'd be whiling away the afternoon anyway, but unfortunately finds himself nodding off, smashing his face against the keyboard one too many times. But he's not about to go back into the dorm and just watch ( _or God forbid, listen to_ ) them make out.

He straightens up, thinking of how Jongdae's lips always curve in that cutesy cat-like way, thinking of Jongdae pressing those lips onto ones smeared with lipstick. When Jongdae would pull away, his mouth would be tinted red too--

Baekhyun sticks his face into his palms, biting his own skin in an effort to stop himself from yelling his lungs out in frustration, remembering that he's in the library. Only until he feels the tightness in his jaw under his fingers does he stop subconsciously clenching his jaw and scrunching his eyebrows. Frustration-- partly at Jongdae, partly at Krystal. Mostly at himself.

He rolls up his sleeve, pinching his skin at his forearm as hard as he could-- and yet it still doesn't hurt as much as the image he conjured up.

  


 

 

Only two blocks away, Baekhyun changes lanes and turns the CD on.

He lets the riffs of the electric guitar sound out with his windows down, fingers absentmindedly drumming the same heavy rhythm into the steering wheel.

Just the song itself is enough to tug his lips up the slightest as he pulls into the curb, putting his car into park before checking his phone. One text from Jongdae, that they'll be out soon.

Not even a minute after reading the text, he spies the couple walking out of the theatre hand in hand. Jongdae instantly spots Baekhyun's familiar car, dragging Krystal along.

Baekhyun watches from his rear view mirror, questioning why he even offered to drive them back to campus. Sure he had gone to a recital and they were on a date not far away anyway-- but when Jongdae's climbing into the backseat with Krystal in tow, exclaiming excitedly about his favorite song, Baekhyun smiles wide and perhaps it's worth it.

“How was your recital?” Jongdae chirps, and Baekhyun's grin widens even further as he pulls out.

“It was good, nothing went wrong _thank_ _fuck_.” he glances back through the mirror again at Jongdae in the back seat with Krystal. “How was the musical?”

Jongdae's eyes light up immediately. “It was so good, I really liked it anyway-- the singing and the music was amazing--”

He's cut off by Krystal looking up sharply, frowning in clear disdain at Baekhyun in the front. “Uh, is this just all gonna be rock songs?”

Before Baekhyun could throw a smart comment back at her, Jongdae turns to her. “No, it has pop and hip hop and ballads in it too, it's just our playlist of favourite songs.”

One moment Baekhyun’s grinning victoriously at the road and the next he's registering Krystal plugging her phone in, blasting old Taylor Swift songs. Baekhyun finds Jongdae's eyes in the mirror, sharing fleeting looks of bewilderment.

 

 

 

Baekhyun tugs his earphones out of his ears in surprise, hearing the slam of the front door, and watching with wide eyes as Jongdae walks into the dorm, _alone_.

Kyungsoo is at a late catch-up class, and honestly Baekhyun hasn't been expecting anyone, writing notes at his desk for the fast-approaching exams, and certainly not Jongdae-- shouldn't he be at a date?

Brief thoughts about maybe getting the chance to just lie down together and put on an episode or two of the animes that they used to watch together in high school evaporate the moment he catches Jongdae’s expression, figuring that the date most certainly did not go well.

“Hey,” he starts softly, watching Jongdae walk to their wardrobe to change, picking his words carefully. “What happened?”

Jongdae looks back at him, blinking innocently. “Noth--”

“Don't you give me that bullshit, Kim Jongdae, I know you better than that. I know that when your eyebrows are like this,” Baekhyun puts his fingers close together on his forehead in demonstration of Jongdae's eyebrows. “rather than this,” he moves his fingers to slant the way they do when Jongdae smiles. “Something’s up. C’mon Dae, spill to your Bestest of the Bestestest Friendsies.”

Jongdae huffs out a laugh before rolling his eyes as he takes his jacket off. “Krystal was offended at one of my jokes, and was pissy at me the entire fuckin day.”

“I would be too.”

Jongdae throws a sock in Baekhyun's direction. “The joke was _kkaepsong_!!”

“She _WHAT?”_ Baekhyun explodes immediately. “How _DARE she!”_

 _“I know right?”_ Jongdae huffs. “It's not like I didn't try explaining it to her, _try_ being the key word-- but I said it about the girl at the cafe replacing the previous really good barista, and she thought it meant I was comparing her to that girl or some shit,” he grumbles, slipping on his ‘home’ shirt. “It's _frustrating_ how little she understands? Or bothers to? And that she has so little faith in me that she’d get so jealous so easily? Does she think I’m going to leave her?”

Baekhyun's mouth opens and closes like a dying fish, dumbly watching as Jongdae sprawls on his bed with a sigh, unsure what to say. _Yes,_ he wants to tell him. _Yes, you should leave her._

Jongdae props himself up to look at him with an apologetic smile. “Don’t mind me, just needed to get it out of my system is all.”

Baekhyun flashes him a grin back. “It’s okay man, tell me all about it if you want.”

Jongdae chuckles, flopping down again with a content hum. “Thanks, Baek. I can always count on you.”

Baekhyun looks down at his highlighted textbook page, eyes not taking in another word.

 

 

Perhaps it's because he's been too preoccupied with thoughts of Jongdae-- if he was studying his ass off like he should have been, it would have felt like time was dragging its feet a little more. Because here he his, scrabbling to memorise certain terminology, having left all his practice essays until the week before his exams.

Baekhyun looks over his shoulder, double checking that Kyungsoo’s still fast asleep before checking the time on this phone.

12:10, just past midnight and the dorm room is still lit by the desk lights on both his and Jongdae's tables. As if on cue, his phone lights up with a text from the boy sitting less than a metre away.

With a small smile, Baekhyun opens it, wondering when was the last time they stayed up talking to each other.

‘ _Yah Byun Baekhyun!’_

Baekhyun doesn't respond, and just as he thought, another text comes in.

‘ _I'm hungryyyyy ;;;;;;~;;;;;;’_

Baekhyun snorts as quietly as possible. ‘ _Aww is little baby Jong Dae-dae hungry?’_

He muffles giggles behind a sleeve when he notices Jongdae shooting him glares from his table.

 _‘I hate essays I swear to fucking God’_ comes Jongdae’s reply instead.

Just as Baekhyun sends a sympathetic ‘ _eugh same’,_ he notices Jongdae sitting upright before looking over at him and motioning to the door.

Baekhyun nods, watching him quietly slip out of the room to take his call.

He turns back to his notes but can't help himself from thinking, wondering, about Jongdae-- however it doesn't take very long for his ears to prick up at the muffled sounds outside, undeniably Jongdae's sharp voice.

Baekhyun vaguely wonders how loudly Jongdae must be talking for his voice to be heard past the thick wooden door-- he's a singer, afterall-- but then Baekhyun's registering the harsh, snapping tones that he's never heard come out of Jongdae's voice box, and he pauses his writing to listen.

A soft click of the door, and he's stepping back into the room with a quiet sigh. He glances up, meeting Baekhyun’s gaze, and offers him a small smile.

‘ _You ok?_ ’

Jongdae looks at him again, with a gentle smile and a slight shrug of his shoulders before typing.

‘ _Tired of drama_ ’

Baekhyun frowns, eyes glued on his phone  ‘ _Is Krystal giving you shit for absolutely no reason, again?_ ’

He hears a soft sigh again from Jongdae's direction and he looks up at him, but then his phone vibrates in his hands, taking his attention again.

‘ _She’s probably just stressed out, like we are._ ’

Baekhyun’s fingers hover over the keyboard, biting his lip. He glances over at Jongdae at his desk, but he's flicking through his textbook, a clear indication that the conversation is over but Baekhyun still feels the desire to say _something_ burning through his throat. That _you're too good for her,_ or _why are you justifying everything about her??_

He lets out a quiet discouraged sigh of his own, picking up his pen again, trying his best to ignore the way his heart pricks uncomfortably at the thought of Jongdae's blindness to the unfairness he subjects himself to.

But it's there, unrelentingly nagging at the back of Baekhyun's brain, thoughts that no, this shouldn't be what Jongdae’s first relationship is like. Thoughts that perhaps _if_ _I was his first relationship, at least he'd know that this isn't how it should be, that he shouldn't let Krystal push him around however she likes for a few dates,_ but he shakes his head, shutting down those thoughts even faster.

 

 

 

 

Jongdae's feet are dragging and his eyes spell out exhaustion when he looks up from locking the dorm room and meets Baekhyun’s searching gaze. He manages to give him a small tilt of his kittenish lips despite the addition of demanding dates ontop of his classes and exams, and Baekhyun’s eyebrows scrunch in concern the same way his heart strings twist into a knot.

He flashes one of his brightest smiles at Jongdae, bouncing out of his seat to take Jongdae’s bag for him, arm over his shoulder.

“Jongdae!” he cries, moving the two of them to Jongdae's bed while dropping off Jongdae's bag at his desk. He lightly shoves Jongdae down, flopping down next to him with his arms around him, one hand stroking his hair the way he knows Jongdae likes. “How did it go? Are you finally free??"

With a tired smile, Jongdae turns his head to kiss the crown of Baekhyun's head then grimace in disgust the way he knows makes Baekhyun laugh. “Yeah, thank fuck-- your exams are finished too?”

Baekhyun hums, nestling his face into Jongdae's neck and inhaling his Haven't-Showered-For-Five-Days-Because-Of-Exams scent. “We should celebrate,” he murmurs into Jongdae's skin. “Have some fun.” he looks up at Jongdae's face, a small grin playing on his lips. “You look like you need it.”

A small whine escapes from Jongdae's neck. “Nooo, I don't want to do anything,” he grumbles, and Baekhyun just manages to stop himself from frowning in worry.

“We don't have to go anywhere!” he pulls himself out from Jongdae's arms. “Here I'll make both of us a cup of tea and we can watch that new historical drama on my laptop or something!”

He scrambles to get Jongdae the laptop so he could unlock it and search for the drama once he hears a noise of approval. When he's back with two steaming mugs, Jongdae's already rearranged the pillows on his bed as a back rest, laptop perched on his thighs.

The intro is already playing as Baekhyun hands Jongdae his mug before snuggling in next to him, grinning wide and satisfied when Jongdae rests his head on his shoulder.

But then Jongdae’s laughing, raising his head from Baekhyun’s shoulder to watch him imitate the male lead.

“Get out of my sight,” Baekhyun growls, voice exaggeratedly low and lips pulled down. “But oppa!!” he shrieks with a high pitched voice, eyes on the two characters in the screen, Jongdae’s laughter like music in his ears.

He waits until the inevitable kiss scene a few episodes later to start making obnoxious kissy noises much to Jongdae's amusement, when all of a sudden the dorm door creaks open and Kyungsoo pokes his head in.

Baekhyun freezes, lips puckered, as Kyungsoo fixes them both with a judgemental look as he takes off his shoes. Then Jongdae’s explosive laughter breaks the silence and it's only a matter of time before Baekhyun follows, while silent chuckles escape Kyungsoo as he shakes his head at them.

 

 

This time Baekhyun's _certain_ that Kyungsoo wouldn't be home until late; he even texted him that he'd be studying in the library so he and Jongdae can have their fun-- because Kyungsoo’s exams start about a week later than theirs-- but Baekhyun is deadset on making the most of this time, because for some reason, Jongdae hasn't been going out on dates a whole lot since exams ended. Baekhyun isn't complaining.

Jongdae is scrolling through his playlist before suddenly the familiar opening guitar of his favourite song sounds out, and immediately Baekhyun jumps into air-guitar position, madly strumming his invisible bass and Jongdae joins in, passionately singing the lyrics.

Baekhyun only watches as Jongdae climbs higher and higher, eventually resorting to screeching out the lines in a way that would make their music professor frown-- but they're both too tired and too far gone for proper technique. So instead, Baekhyun joins in with the shouting, bursting out laughing when Jongdae starts head banging.

And even when Jongdae’s music shuffle plays a ballad he doesn't let that stop him, continuing to sway and sing, and Baekhyun tries to not let his jaw drop at how Jongdae is literally just carelessly blurting out notes but still manages to sound so perfectly professional. For the next verse, Jongdae motions as though handing Baekhyun the mic, and his voice shakes the slightest when he starts singing-- Jongdae is a vocalist major after all. But it's alright because even though Baekhyun's stumbling over lyrics, the same grin stays on Jongdae's face as he looks at him, eyes on the way Baekhyun sings.

 

 

 

“Jongdae we gotta go shopping,” Baekhyun calls, fingers busy typing out a response.

“What? Why?” Jongdae walks back into the dorm room, rubbing his towel over his wet black hair plastered to his face.

“Because Kyungsoo actually cooks,” Baekhyun explains, waving his phone with Kyungsoo's texts in Jongdae’s direction. “And he asked nicely-- since there's nothing left to eat and he has no time, his last exam is today.”

Jongdae hums, heading back into the bathroom and throwing a noise of affirmation over his shoulder.

 

Jongdae is screaming, loud voice echoing through the frozen food aisle. Baekhyun shouts incoherently back, pushing the trolley even faster, and Jongdae's shouts of delight become yelling in fear, gripping the front of the cart tight in his small hands and demanding Baekhyun to stop.

Baekhyun laughs loud and free, only slowing down once reaching the end of the aisle in case they run someone over and Jongdae immediately steps off the front of the cart, Baekhyun laughing even harder at how shaken he looks and the glares he flashes him.

 

Jongdae’s throwing a clump of cabbage at him and Baekhyun flails, sending little bits of cabbage leaves flying all over the floor of the supermarket and Jongdae guffaws.

“You were meant to catch that!” he laughs at him, loud and clear-- just like the beating of Baekhyun's little heart.

Baekhyun scowls at him, putting the cabbage into their cart. “Stop being _childish_ Jongdae, Jesus, look at the mess you made,” he nags, voice nasally and high-pitched and Jongdae snorts loudly at him, Baekhyun huffing back at him. Baekhyun turns right on his heel, pushing the cart, singing “Okay time for lollies!” as he disappears into the confectionary aisle, Jongdae laughing as he follows.

“No Baekhyun,” Jongdae chastises, putting back the ten packets of jelly snakes of different brands Baekhyun had just thrown into the cart. “We're grocery shopping for Kyungsoo!”

“They're groceries!”

“No they're not! We're only buying what we need!”

“I need it!”

“Oh my God,” Jongdae laughs breathily at him, shaking his head. “Okay no how about this, we can go buy ice cream afterwards, how's that?”

Baekhyun immediately brightens.

 

With a loud groan, Baekhyun puts down the bags of groceries on the floor, sitting himself on the wooden bench with a thump.

Jongdae leaves his half of the shopping bags at Baekhyun’s feet before walking off towards the ice cream shop, leaving Baekhyun to quietly observe the mall from his seat. His eyes catch on the couples holding hands, the guy pulling his girlfriend closer to say something in her ear, the girl giggling up at him. And there, a loving boyfriend is presenting his date with a little present as he runs up to her, and she’s grinning wide and enveloping him in a hug.

Just as Baekhyun gazes unabashedly at how a boy leans down to swiftly peck his girlfriend’s lips just infront of a store, fingers intertwined with hers, a huge blob of ice cream comes straight into his field of view until all he could see is ice cream and all he could hear is Jongdae’s loud chuckles rather than the delighted exclaims of girls on dates.

“Thanks Dae,” he chirps, smiling brightly until his eyes probably looked no more than slits, but that’s okay because Jongdae flashes him the exact same smile right back as he hands Baekhyun his cone and his beautiful scoops of cookies and cream.

Baekhyun must’ve made some inhuman noise when he put his lips on his fluffy heaven because Jongdae’s looking at him with a strange look in his eyes from his spot next to him on the bench in the mall.

“What?” he says defensively through a mouthful, licking his lips. “ _You’re_ the one who always goes for fucking _vanilla. AND_ even without a cone!”

“I just don’t want ice cream juice running all down my arms! It’s a cleaner, _smarter_ way of enjoying my ice cream!”

“Doesn’t change the fact that your favourite is _vanilla,_ of all things,” Baekhyun says right back. But when Jongdae looks away with a soft grin, he finds himself still staring, still running his eyes over Jongdae’s long lashes, sloping nose and pretty, pretty eyes.

He lifts his ice cream cone up to his face, shooting all his admiring looks from behind the safety of his scoops of ice cream.

Then Jongdae’s looking back at him and Baekhyun’s heart thuds in immediate panic--but Jongdae isn’t quirking a brow at him, asking him what he’s staring at. Jongdae’s laughing, pointing at Baekhyun’s hands with a smug look on his face.

“See, told you you’d get it all over your hands!”

Baekhyun only laughs abashedly, watching Jongdae run over to the store to grab him some tissues, wondering how he even managed to be distracted from ice cream. But his eyes lock on Jongdae as he’s coming back with the tissues, and _oh, that’s how._

 

 

 

Thinking of the groceries and the ice cream and Jongdae’s blinding smile the entire day, it’s difficult to imagine Jongdae’s whines even through text, because Baekhyun’s sitting in the dorm, laptop open with a half written essay sitting infront of him but eyes fixed on his phone, dedicatedly replying to all of Jongdae’s messages.

‘ _MY GOD, SHE HAS MORE CLOTHES TO TRY’_

Baekhyun can’t help but snigger, heart fluttering lightly in his chest.

‘ _I swear to God, she’s going to end up buying all the dresses in this goddamn mall, then she’d move onto shirts.’_

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. _‘Be a good boyfriend and just carry her shit.’_

_‘I am! But I’m waiting for her to change right now, it’s boring okay??’_

At this, Baekhyun’s entire face splits into a wide smile, absolutely certain that Jongdae had not found a single moment in _their_ mundane grocery shopping ‘date’ boring.

‘ _And now she’s just going to be trying on outfit after outfit for the entire goddamn afternoon eugh bye see you on the other side.’_

Baekhyun’s giggling and he really shouldn’t be, but he can’t help the feeling of lightness and superiority, as though he’s wearing a little crown as the Number One Jongdae Entertainer, sitting on his throne above everyone else-- it’s a little ridiculous, but his entire being is a little ridiculous. And he reckons it’s okay, because he figures that Jongdae’s a little ridiculous too.

‘ _Omg it can’t be that bad haha, suggest you take a break or something,’_ he sends, and not even half a minute later Jongdae’s text pops up again.

‘ _I did!! She doesn’t even want ice cream!! Something about maintaining her weight eugh as though she’s not already skinny enough…’_ Baekhyun doesn’t even have the time to respond before another pops up. ‘ _SHIT BUSTED She accused me of not paying any attention to her on our date, gtg, I’ll tell you about it tonight!!’_

With his smile still lingering on his lips Baekhyun locks his phone and puts it back in his pocket, knowing that if he sends another affirmative text Jongdae wouldn’t check it anyway. He’s trying his damn hardest to get back into the rhythm he was at with his essay before Jongdae sent his flurries of complaining texts, but can’t help his excitement over something as simple as texting Jongdae later that night until some ungodly hour into the morning.

Suddenly struck with a thought, Baekhyun grabs his phone again, typing rapidly.

 _‘Hey yeol!_ ’ he pauses for a brief moment, wondering whether he should bother to phrase his sentences, whether Chanyeol would care. ‘ _So you know Krystal? Jongdae’s girlfriend?_ ’

It doesn’t take long for his giant to text him back, and Baekhyun pushes on.

‘ _So I’m just kinda thinking about what kind of girl she is, because from the way Jongdae talks about her, I feel like there’s way more she isn’t letting on._ ’ Baekhyun bites his bottom lip, not worried about whether Chanyeol would question him, placing his trust in their years and years of friendship. No, he’s worried about what course of action Chanyeol would take. ‘ _And I don’t know, I feel like none of us, even Jongdae, know enough about her, so I don’t want to start judging her… but I am judging her…_ ’

 _‘Uhh_ ,’ comes Chanyeol’s very intellectual response. ‘ _I don’t really know her tbh, but my friend Jongin knows her!’_

Baekhyun lets out a loud sigh of relief, taking in a deep breath and praising all the deities that his plan worked out perfectly-- that Chanyeol would help him find out what he can’t ask around for.

‘ _Ooh, that’s exactly what I was thinking,_ ’ he sends. ‘ _Can you do me a favour and ask him for me please?’_

_‘Sure thing Baekkie.’_

 

 

 

 

What he learns is far more than he would have ever needed to formulate an opinion on Jongdae’s girlfriend.

What he learns is that Krystal feels the need to date someone new every 3 months at least, notorious for the trail of broken hearts and broke ex-boyfriends she leaves behind.

“Has she _ever_ paid for her own stuff when you go out on a date?” Baekhyun demands, turning to fully face Jongdae just as they leave the dorm, watching Jongdae pull the door shut and head towards the staircase with a sigh.

“No, but it’s not like she makes me pay for all her skirts and coffees. You have to be the gentleman in a relationship with a girl, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun stops in his tracks as though physically burned, jaw dropping in shock with Jongdae’s impatient, patronising tone, as though he feels he needs to educate Baekhyun on how to behave just because he doesn’t date girls, and honestly it makes Baekhyun want to turn right back around and sit at home for the rest of the day until he passes out at midnight rather than go to his classes.

“No-- that isn’t what’s important,” he manages to get out, vigorously shaking his head to clear it, rushing down the stairs to catch up to Jongdae. “What’s important is that it’s already been a few months, and she could literally drop you anytime! What’s important is how much you’re devoting yourself to someone who--”

“What _should_ be important is how much trust you’re placing in rumours, Baekhyun,” Jongdae sighs, turning to look at him, and Baekhyun loses all his despair and frustration in the exhausted gaze Jongdae fixes him with. “They’re just that-- rumours. Rumours are never true, okay? If rumours said tigers have eight legs, would you believe them?”

Baekhyun takes a physical step back, blinking at Jongdae, searching his face-- but Jongdae’s spinning back around and striding out the door of the dorm building and straight towards Krystal, waiting just outside for him.

While he stands rooted in the same spot, he watches as she pulls him in for a kiss, her hands circling the back of his head and his arms wrapped around his waist. Baekhyun dips his head, trying to focus on the tiles underfoot, trying his best to ignore the agonising way each thud of his heart pulsates through his body, spreading his pain until every vein thrums with it.

When he raises his eyes again, Jongdae and Krystal are a good distance away with their arms linked, walking off for whatever date they have planned for the day and Baekhyun, with a quick check of the time on his phone, heads in the opposite direction towards his classes.

 

 

Perhaps if Baekhyun didn’t actually keep tabs on Krystal he would’ve come to an agreement with what Jongdae said-- he did make some sense afterall. (Or that could be a result of Baekhyun’s undying bias towards Jongdae, where he could come up with justifications for anything and everything he did.) But certainly not when he’s told Krystal’s been seen with multiple different guys lingering around her just in the past three days, and none of them are Jongdae.

But then everytime his eyes land on Jongdae, or when he’s biting his nails and staring in hesitation at the keyboard with his messages with Jongdae open, his mind reminds him of the disastrous outcome of voicing his worries to Jongdae the previous time. He would decide against confiding his findings in Jongdae every single time especially considering he’s defensive as shit, and simply turn off his phone without sending a single message.

But at this precise moment, with the sun casting long shadows across the ground and the sky glowing a pale orange overhead, he regrets it.

He regrets it, as he stops near the music block on his way back to the dorm. He regrets it, overhearing Jongdae’s voice, raising in pitch in his incredulity.

He should have told Jongdae, at least warned him about what was to come-- though the other guy sounds genuinely shocked and even apologetic, Krystal’s words are scathing, tone sharp as a knife as though the burn of her words weren’t enough to draw blood.

Immediately, Baekhyun turns and runs back to the dorm, mind racing a million miles per hour, fists clenched tight just from thinking about Jongdae’s handsome face contorted in a horrible mixture of pain and disbelief.

Not even too long after Baekhyun takes off his shoes and concludes that Kyungsoo’s isn’t anywhere in the dorm, the door flings open with a small bang, startling the life out of him. But Jongdae’s steps walking into the room are slow and dragging, his head hung low, and immediately Baekhyun runs over to him.

He presses up close against Jongdae, holding his face in his palms, breath catching the moment he notices the shine of a layer of unshed tears brimming at the edges of his eyes. He frowns, pulling Jongdae even closer and feeling Jongdae’s shaky sigh against his shoulder.

“Dae?” he whispers quietly. “What happened? Who upset you? Who am I beating up?”

He feels the motions of Jongdae shaking his head and immediately shuts up, simply holding Jongdae in his arms in the middle of the room, slowly rocking them back and forth, wordlessly letting Jongdae bury his face into his shoulder.

He lifts a hand, carding his fingers through Jongdae’s thick black hair, tilting his head so that he could plant the softest of little kisses behind Jongdae’s ear and just under his jawline, murmuring into his skin.

“Krystal… cheated on me, with Jongin,” is what Jongdae eventually says between long breaths, where Baekhyun suspects he’s trying his best so that his voice doesn’t come out all wobbling and shaking, but he doesn’t mention it. If he’s surprised that Chanyeol’s friend Jongin ended up being the reason that Jongdae and Krystal’s relationship ended, he doesn’t show an ounce of it.

He lets out a sigh, rubbing his palms down Jongdae’s back in circles. “She didn’t deserve you,” he ends up murmuring into Jongdae’s hair.

“But she was--”

“No Jongdae, I don’t care if she’s an actual Goddess, if she makes my best friend cry then I swear to God, I will be punching her down from Heaven. Her pretty little face won’t be so pretty after I’m done with her.”

He feels the slightest of smiles against his shoulders, and he holds onto Jongdae a little tighter.

“I don’t want to say I told you so, but…” he trails off and delights in the way Jongdae barks out a small laugh.

“I suppose you were right, aye?” Jongdae pulls away the slightest and Baekhyun’s blood is singing at how close he is, looking into his eyes. “Maybe for once in your life, you were right.”

“Hey, I’m always right, are you kidding?” Baekhyun cries in defense, watching in satisfaction as Jongdae’s lips curve little by little. “And I’m still right when I say she didn’t deserve you-- you’re worth so much more than any God or Goddess deserves.” When Jongdae makes a small noise of uncertainty, Baekhyun only pushes on. “Okay, maybe Chanyeol and Kyungsoo and I deserve you, but that’s about it, okay?”

Jongdae smiles, little chuckles leaving his lips as he blinks up slowly at Baekhyun. “Okay.”

Baekhyun carefully takes his hand in his own, and in a leap of faith, slots his fingers in the gaps between them. When Jongdae looks up at him, blinking his long lashes, Baekhyun smiles sweetly, tugging on his hand.

“You know what?” he murmurs, leading Jongdae out the door of the dorm again. “Let's go somewhere. Forget all about… girls,” he waves dismissively with one hand and Jongdae chuckles. “And drama. Just you and me?”

He drags Jongdae down the stairs of the dorms, out the door and into the post-sunset evening, with the air already starting to feel chilly against his bare face.

“Do you want to go back up and grab a coat?” Baekhyun asks, but Jongdae’s only shaking his head with a smile.

“Lets just go.”

There's a bus at the station ready to leave, and Baekhyun runs, dragging Jongdae along with him, who let out a squeak of surprise. He quickly pulls Jongdae into a seat next to him, letting him press against his side, fingers still intertwined tightly against the slight cold.

“Where does this bus go?” Jongdae murmurs, turning to Baekhyun, who just shrugs.

“I don't know.”

“What?” Jongdae gapes. “What if we get lost? It'll be late and dark--”

“Ssh,” Baekhyun says, pressing a finger against Jongdae's lips, trying not to dwell on the feeling of his chapped skin against his own. “Stop thinking. We don't have to do any of that tonight. We can just go… wherever. Just you and me, remember?”

At this, a beautiful grin blossoms on Jongdae’s lips, and he presses up to Baekhyun just a little bit more. When Jongdae casts his eyes out the window at how the streetlights are slowly flickering on one by one, and how the shadows on the pavement are getting darker, Baekhyun quietly observes him. He takes special note of the orange lights hitting Jongdae's cheekbones, or how he squeezes Baekhyun’s hand a little when the bus door opens and a chilly draft hits them.

On a complete whim, Baekhyun chooses a random stop to get off, both of them tucking their hands in their jeans pockets once out in the night air. Baekhyun motions a little, and they walk away from the brightly lit road with the cars speeding past. They end up at an unnamed park, trees lining the pathway and they sit on a wooden bench with a small streetlight overhead, thigh to thigh and shoulder to shoulder.

Baekhyun loops his arm around Jongdae's, who cranes his head to look up at the trees around them. Occasionally Baekhyun would point out a particularly bright star that shines despite the smog in Seoul, and when someone walks past with their dog, Jongdae would exclaim quietly in Baekhyun's ear.

He'd drop his head on Baekhyun's shoulder, still gazing up through the leaves, and they listen to each other's breathing with the sounds of traffic in the distance.

They flag down a passing taxi. Baekhyun pays, even though Jongdae whines about the price because of how far they've strayed from the dorm. But he left his wallet at home, and Baekhyun takes full advantage of it. They don't get home until 3 am.

 

 

 

“So what were you and Jongdae up to last night?”

“I took him out,” Baekhyun answers with a vague shrug of his shoulders. “Tried to distract him from Krystal.”

Kyungsoo turns around in his seat to look at Baekhyun at his own desk. “Out as in out on a date?”

“What?” Baekhyun laughs a little in his incredulity. “Of course not.”

“Well why didn't you?”

Baekhyun turns around so fast he gave himself whiplash, staring Kyungsoo down. “What?? Why--”

“You've got the right timing,” Kyungsoo turns back to his laptop. “He's finally broken up with Krystal, this is your chance to help him get back up on his feet. Why aren't you taking it?”

Baekhyun opens and closes his mouth in poorly disguised shock. “And what-- what makes you think I should take it?”

“Are you kidding?” Kyungsoo fixes him with a deadpan look. “I'm not going to pretend I don't know about your crush on Jongdae, and I never have played that pretend game.”

Baekhyun splutters, eyes wide and face aflame. “W-when?” he manages to stutter out,  entire body shaking. “When did you know??”

“Oh I don't know,” Kyungsoo sighs. “Senior year of high school?”

Baekhyun's jaw drops.

He's nearly watching as his previous assumptions of his grade A acting flows down the drain. “I--” he chokes a little bit on his shock. “I guess it wasn't as much of a secret than I thought it was. Who else knows?”

At this, Kyungsoo looks over at him, and his voice comes out a little softer. “No one else. I don't think Chanyeol knows.”

"Then how did you--"

"I just pride myself on being very observant."

Baekhyun falls into a stumped silence, listening to Kyungsoo's typing for a short while. He's not lying-- Baekhyun's crippling crush on their shared best friend had somehow reared its ugly head sometime in high school and simply hasn't gone away, despite all of Baekhyun's picking at it.

Perhaps Kyungsoo's known since the four of them formed their little group of best friends in high school, and never mentioned it. But thinking back, it explains the strange comments Kyungsoo would make, explains Chanyeol’s confused expression, explains the way Kyungsoo looked at Baekhyun, like he expected him to spring into action.

“I know you've been living with your feelings for him,” Kyungsoo pipes up again, voice low. “I don’t understand how you do it-- but if anything, now is the time to stop.”

“Jongdae's straight,” Baekhyun blurts, and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes.

“Then you don't want it enough. If you really want it-- really want him-- you'll do it, you'll try for it. Because even if your entire persona is a lie, I know _that part_ of Byun Baekhyun is true.”

 

 

 

Baekhyun used the excuse of getting Jongdae over his breakup to drag him out clubbing, finding it hard to plaster on a mask of indifference when Jongdae walked out of their bathroom in tight leather pants and a form-fitting leather jacket with a tank top underneath.

He fidgets in his own tight jeans, casting looks at Jongdae, who's leaning against the bar as they wait for their drinks.

He quickly grabs his own glass as it's pushed towards him, knocking it back before walking up to Jongdae's side.

For a moment neither of them say anything, letting the heavy beat hit their ear drums and make their heads throb. Jongdae lifts his own to his lips, sipping, whilst Baekhyun tips his second shot back, sticking his tongue out a little at the taste.

He shoots Jongdae glances from next to him, and even though it's been a while already, he can't help but ask.

“Did you actually _really_ like her?”

Jongdae shoots him a look of slight shock before shrugging, taking another sip, gazing out at the dancing bodies again.

Baekhyun frowns, reaching for another. “You need to get over her and date someone else Dae.”

Jongdae looks at him, skeptic, as he swallows another mouthful.

“That's the reason behind bothering to come out here tonight,” Baekhyun says between his teeth, putting down the glass.

There's a silence stretching out between them, Baekhyun's gasps after each shot the only sounds escaping either of them.

Eventually, Jongdae looks over at him, watching him essentially inhale a large cup of vodka, the fifth in a row. “Um are you sure you should be drinking so much? So quickly?”

Baekhyun clucks his tongue at him,  voice already slurring the slightest and words already running into each other. “What else is the point of partying if you don't get smashed?” it's not his fault he's shit at holding his alcohol-- infact, he's always the one drinking hard and fast despite being a weak ass, while he's never seen Jongdae drunk, considering he's both a more responsible drinker and have higher alcohol tolerance by a large margin.

It's in the silence following Baekhyun's remark that Jongdae speaks up again, voice almost drowned by the music, and Baekhyun had to lean close to hear him.

“Who do you propose I date then? Do you have anyone in mind?”

When he draws the slightest away from Jongdae, he's grinning a little, just a small lift of his lips. “Oh. Yes, I do, in fact."

Somewhere between two glasses of whiskey and a cocktail Baekhyun starts to fade out-- somewhere before being completely gone, he registers dragging Jongdae out onto the dance floor.

He doesn't remember much, if at all, what came after that the next morning-- only the taste of vodka on someone else's lips, and his hips pressed flush against what he remembers recognising with surprise as a hard on. His hands shoved down the back pockets of the stranger's pants, hips swaying against their's, bending to grind against the other man.

He groans, sitting up and deciding against trying to remember all of the night before, considering it'll just give him an even greater headache anyway. Jongdae must have brought him home before a stranger dragged him off, he notes, looking around and recognising their dorm. Kyungsoo's out already, even though it's Saturday morning and none of them have classes. Probably didn't want to deal with his puking, hung over ass.

Then he looks up a little too quickly at Jongdae slowly shuffling into the room, and reaches out to grab his mug of hot water from Jongdae's out stretched hands with a soft appreciative smile.

Jongdae hands him a painkiller before closing the door and sitting at Baekhyun's desk, watching as he gulps down the water and pill.

“Eugh,” Baekhyun groans, sitting back on what he realises is Jongdae's bed-- he probably wasn't bothered to haul Baekhyun's knocked out body onto the top bunk. “I didn't throw up did I?” he groans, opening one eye to look at Jongdae, massaging his temples.

“No, thankfully,” Jongdae chuckles.

“Are you doing okay?”

Jongdae snorts at him. “I wasn't the one who got smashed and completely drunk.” He fixes Baekhyun with a curious look. “Do you remember anything from last night?”

When Baekhyun shrugs and slightly shakes his head, he seems to look… hesitant, for some weird unfathomable reason.

“But still, thanks for stopping me, I guess, from going home with a random stranger,” Baekhyun chuckles, and Jongdae does the same.

“I don't think you need to thank me for protecting you from myself.”

Baekhyun laughs a little before his slow, hung over brain processes his words and he nearly falls off the bed. He immediately whips his head towards Jongdae, ignoring the painful drumming against his skull, a look of pure horror spreading across his face. “I-- _what_??”

“You really remember nothing,” Jongdae laughs lightly. “Well I mean… nothing more happened than some dancing,” he shrugs. “And uh. Making out?”

Baekhyun feels his gut drop to his feet.

“Oh,” he laughs awkwardly. “Sorry about that, I didn't notice who it was.”

He misses the strange look that passes over Jongdae's face when he turns away.

 

 

 

He also misses Jongdae, after about two weeks of actively avoiding him.

It reminds him of when Jongdae and Krystal first started dating, where he tried his damn hardest to not run into his best friend-- a ridiculously difficult task considering they live in the same place and attend the same classes. It was pure survival instinct, the _need_ to protect himself from the hurt that came and went along with his sightings of the couple.

And it's not so different this time around-- but now, it's the suffocating self-pity and resentment and regret that forms the barrier around Baekhyun, convincing him that literally running in the opposite direction every time he spots Jongdae is a good idea.

He's surprised when Kyungsoo starts texting him about when Jongdae gets home-- he's smart, and must've figured out a general outline of what happened for Baekhyun to be constantly MIA again, unless Jongdae spilled the beans. But at least now, he knows when to time coming home so that the room is dark already and he can quickly climb up on his bunk.

Even if Jongdae is still awake when he comes home, it's easy to ignore him when they have to be quiet in fear of waking Kyungsoo-- Baekhyun would shut off his phone, ignoring the flood of texts from Jongdae until he texts back a generic excuse the next morning.

Despite all his shame, Baekhyun finds himself back at the club with a flannel and skinny jeans, heading out onto the dance floor even though he isn't nearly as drunk as he was when he was with Jongdae last time.

He's sidling up to an older man, feeling hands grab at his ass when he pushes it against a thigh. He's closing his eyes, letting unfamiliar arms wrap around him, letting his hips move in the rhythm of the deafening music--

But then the arms are ripped away, and his eyes fly open to see the handsome face he thinks far too much about twisted in a scowl at whoever Baekhyun was dancing with. The stranger’s touch is replaced by familiar arms circling Baekhyun's shoulders, herding him out the doors of the club and into the night.

 _I'm not drunk enough for this_ , is the only thought rotating through Baekhyun's head as he rips his arm out of Jongdae's clutches and rounds on him just around the corner.

“What the fuck was that Dae,” he spits, narrowing his eyes, but stops in his tracks the moment he catches onto Jongdae's fast breaths billowing in the cold air, his eyebrows furrowed and sharp jaw locked in his frown.

“You tell me,” he says right back, moving towards Baekhyun. “What were you doing?”

“Having fun,” he grumbles defensively as Jongdae huffs in exasperation. “What has that got to do with you?”

“Having fun?” Jongdae echoes, taking another small step closer, and Baekhyun roots his feet to the ground, refusing to back up. “I didn't think you were that type-- get with someone, and try your luck with someone else a few weeks later.”

Baekhyun's jaw drops, and even Jongdae seems a little in shock at his own words. “Excuse me??”

With a heavy sigh, Jongdae drags his hand over his face. “I'm sorry,” he eventually breathes out. “I overreacted. I didn't mean to compare you to… her.”

Crossing his arms over his chest Baekhyun cocks his head, suddenly brave, suddenly frustrated-- frustrated at how vague, how confusing he's being. “Then _what do you mean?_ ” he ends up snapping, but is shocked into silence the moment Jongdae looks up, fixing eyes brimming with uncertainty at him.

He heaves a heavy sigh again, and Baekhyun watches in silence as the cloud that escaped his lips dissipates into the night.

“When I found out Krystal was cheating,” Jongdae beings slowly, brows furrowed as though he hasn't quite made sense of everything yet either. “I… wasn't mad, or upset. It was more like I was just disappointed--like you expected better from her. But not more than that.”

He pauses to gauge Baekhyun’s reaction, but Baekhyun's blank expression gives him nothing.

“No surge of possessiveness or sadness or anger, or despair that she didn’t ‘feel the same way’.” Then he's looking up, unsure eyes roaming Baekhyun's face. “But with you....”

Baekhyun’s heart jumps a little in his rib cage, and Jongdae shakes his head.

“I don't even know, but with you, I want you to myself. I don't ever want to see you with your mouth, your hips on anyone else, I want you to only be that close to me, to only kiss me.”

And again, Baekhyun doesn't move away when Jongdae steps towards him, one of his hands coming up to rest against Baekhyun's waist.

“You’re right,” Jongdae whispers, eyelashes fluttering in the slight breeze in a way that takes Baekhyun's breath away. “I think I have someone in mind, who I can date, too.”

Perhaps it’s always been there, but only now it’s spelled out for Jongdae’s dumb ass to read, clear instructions that make Jongdae wonder why he never saw them before.

And Baekhyun knows it's the same exact thoughts that are also running through Jongdae's head when he quickly leans in to press his mouth against Jongdae's. It doesn't take much for Jongdae to wrap his arms all around Baekhyun's waist and back, pressing him flush to his chest, Baekhyun cupping Jongdae's jaw in his cold fingers. Jongdae tilts his face to take in, breathe in, more of Baekhyun, and he smiles.

His smile stretches so wide Jongdae pulls away, grinning back at him with a matching smile, and Baekhyun buries his face in the side of Jongdae's neck. After a short moment, Jongdae imitates him, digging his nose into Baekhyun's shoulder as well.

They hold each other in the shadows of the corner around the street, shielding each other from the cold winds.

“You could've just dated me,” Baekhyun murmurs into Jongdae's skin, chuckling when Jongdae laughs at him. “No drama.”

“I should have,” Jongdae agrees, voice surprisingly quiet. “Is it too late to give it a go?”

Baekhyun pretends to shrug noncommittally. “Better late than never.”

  
  


 

Kyungsoo sighs quietly, putting the keys he had just pulled out of his wallet back in, stuffing his wallet back into the front pocket of his bag.

He rolls his eyes, staring at the closed door of his dorm for a few more moments, listening to the faint moans and creaks of the bunk from within, wondering how loud his friends are being for him to be able to hear them from just outside.

When Jongdae's unmistakably high voice barks out a shriek of pleasure, and Baekhyun follows with a loud groan of Jongdae's name, Kyungsoo nearly trips in his haste to get the fuck away from his own dorm, face twisted in disgust.

With a shudder running through his entire body, he hurries away, trying to banish the sounds from his memory but knowing that he'll forever regret helping out his best friends, considering he's now the third wheel in their dorm.

Because how many times has it been already, the third time in the week? And it’s only Thursday?

With another low sigh, Kyungsoo whips out his phone as he strides along the corridor, deserted at this time into the night. It hasn't even been a month since Baekhyun and Jongdae came home with sunny smiles and linked hands-- but Kyungsoo's satisfaction with his own role in the building of their relationship quickly evaporated when he comes home to the two of them with shirts off and pants unzipped far too many times.

He's learnt to listen through the door before unlocking it and walking in, but that doesn't make it any easier.

‘ _Hey yeol. Can I crash with you again?’_

He stares down at his phone, already descending a level, heading to Chanyeol’s dorm room even without an affirmative reply. Afterall, he's already slept over a good deal of times already for him to know that Chanyeol doesn't have a problem with it.

He knocks twice, and he isn't kept waiting for very long before the door is flung open.

“You're back soon hyung, did you forg--”

Kyungsoo stands stock still as Sehun, Chanyeol's roommate, cuts himself off with a gasp, immediately moving to cover himself.

Because the tall boy, who Kyungsoo's met before when taking refuge in their dorm, only has a towel wrapped around his hips, blonde hair and toned upper body dripping with tiny little water droplets, and this is clearly something Kyungsoo has not encountered before.

“Uh--”

“I'm so sorry,” the boy stutters out, quickly moving out of the doorway to let Kyungsoo in. “I thought it was Chanyeol-- he's at the convenience store-- and I was showering--”

“I can tell,” Kyungsoo murmurs awkwardly when Sehun breaks off in his embarrassment.

He fiddles with his towel for a few moments before gesturing vaguely to the couch. “I'll just-- yeah take a seat,” he says quietly before making a beeline back into the bathroom.

Kyungsoo does as told, scrolling through his phone when Sehun walks back out again, this time fully dressed, hair dried and puffy. The flush high on his cheeks, however, has stayed.

“Do you… want something to drink? Or eat?” he mumbles awkwardly, looking away when Kyungsoo sets his eyes on him.

“No thanks, I'm good.”

Sehun nods mutely, sitting himself down quietly on the other end of the couch.

Kyungsoo slides his phone back into his pocket when he begins to _feel_ the short glances from Sehun's direction, turning to the boy in an attempt to break the ice.

“So Sehun, was it?” Kyungsoo quirks a brow at him. “What are you studying?"

 

 

“YO I'M HOME!” Chanyeol hollers, throwing open the heavy wooden door of the dorm, plastic bags from the store rustling on his arm. “RAMEN TIME-- sorry I didn't see your text Kyungsoo--” he immediately breaks off once he turns to actually look at the two in the living room after shutting the dorm door.

Sehun is now sitting ridiculously close to Kyungsoo, who's leaning forwards towards him, a hand on Sehun’s knee. They're both shell-shocked, staring as Chanyeol similarly stares back.

Sehun is the first to pull away, immediately shuffling away from Kyungsoo with his ears bright red-- Kyungsoo's looking down at his hands which he immediately retracted from Sehun.

“What?” he snaps at Chanyeol. “We're just talking, don't misunderstand, idiot.”

Chanyeol raises a brow, kicking his shoes off. “ _Right_ ,” he drawls slowly. “I'm _sure_ that's what you were doing.”

“That's _exactly_ what we were doing,” Kyungsoo hisses. “Don't twist it. Go make your ramen.”

The moment Chanyeol sets the water boiling with his cups of ramen out on the counter, he pulls out his phone, typing frantically.

  


 

“He _WHAT_?” Baekhyun screeches, and Jongdae looks over from next to him on the bed in alarm.

He shuffles over, placing his chin on Baekhyun's shoulder as he reads out the message.

“What the fuck, Chanyeol says Kyungsoo and Sehun are-- gonna get together or something??”

Jongdae frowns, dragging a hand down Baekhyun's exposed abdomen. “Is that Chanyeol’s roommate?”

Baekhyun makes a noise of affirmation, combing through Jongdae's locks with his other free hand. He shakes his head, and Jongdae leans up to press a kiss into his hair, the way he likes it. “Shocking. He saw them in some weird intimate position, even though they've never _really_ talked before?”

Jongdae chuckles, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend, eyes fluttering shut in content. “We'll just have to get them together then, won't we?”

“The way Kyungsoo got us together.”

“The way Kyungsoo got us together,” Jongdae repeats with a sleepy smile that Baekhyun presses a fleeting kiss to. “Didn't Kyungsoo say he's straight?”

“Yeah but you also said you're straight.”

“You're right, I did.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> messy messy ending as always
> 
> tried to edit it, but idek what's happening in this fic, but i hope you enjoyed anyway
> 
> also idk what's up with the formatting, there are so many spaces smh but i'm not going to go through 34 pages and manually delete all the extra spacing between lines so I'm just gonna leave it.
> 
> come hit me up on my social media!  
> IG: @djjdkim  
> Tumblr: @djjdkim  
> If you want fanfic writing prompts for exo: @xoxoprompts  
> Twitter (for writing updates): @djjdkim


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